


Enigma Puzzle Hell

by artartdowndown



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, it's a goddamn crackfic because everyone's broken after that april fools enigma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 05:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18329180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artartdowndown/pseuds/artartdowndown
Summary: Lyria got tired and decided to rest for a bit in her room, leaving the two to try to solve the problem.Vyrn started getting frustrated with looking for non-existent arrows and started having a mental breakdown akin to Another Vyrn ("If ya ask me, we should just travel back in time. I reckon we'd get answers from strangling him a bit. I volunteer to do it. Old wizard's probably weaksauce, lol."), and thus was ordered to rest.Gran is currently lying face down on the floor crying.





	Enigma Puzzle Hell

**Author's Note:**

> The Katalina part was inspired by Twitter- @HinataKagura. Thanks.
> 
> All the other parts were inspired by me and Ayden screaming at the puzzles until they worked.
> 
> this event killed me and inspired this fic so uh  
> enjoy my suffering

"Remember, only the first 100 crews get the 10,000 crystals. I'll be releasing the puzzles one by one. Good luck, you all!" Sierokarte waves as all of them go off.

"Don't mind if I do, Siero!" Gran shouts back, unaware of the chaos that was about to happen, and oh god, he was definitely not prepared.

* * *

 

"What does this say? What does it mean?"

Gran, Lyria, and Vyrn are all hunched over a table. On top of it rests a single parchment. Written on it are the words, "Listen 3 times to an admirer of the red dragon on the island where it all began."

Vyrn stares at the parchment for a solid half a minute then freaks out over his borderline name-dropping. "Stupid wizard thinks that all the crews under the skies had a red dragon fan. What does this even- god, I bet Siero is somewhere having a laugh at the skyfarers thinking about this. We're skyfarers, not intellectuals! What, are we supposed to-"

"Hmm… maybe the puzzle changes depends on whoever is holding it," Lyria suggests, "but I don't know if that would be fair to the other skyfarers…"

"That's not the issue right now," Gran interjects. Lyria and Vyrn look back to the paper. Gran looks over the parchment again. And again.

"Listen 3 times to an admirer of the red dragon… on the island where it all… Zinkenstill. I kind of miss home. An admirer… Katalina? Listen 3 times." Gran mumbles to himself for a solid half a minute before coming to a decision.

"Rackam!" Gran yells, "We're going to Zinkenstill, set the course."

"Zinkenstill's not that far from Port Breeze, but why there?"

"What, can't I visit home for a bit?"

* * *

 

The friendly breeze of Zinkenstill greets the skyfarers before the familiar, friendly faces of the villagers do. Gran greets them in a shorter but no less friendly way. His neighbors recognize the facial expression he has when he's about to do something important, and decide to, instead of getting in the way, watch by the side without noise.

"Katalinaaaaa!" Gran yells at her. She gets off the ship and rushes over to Gran.

"What's up, Gran?"

"I need you to stand in this exact position and say something random 3 times."

There's a brief moment of silence. Katalina blinks. Lyria and Vyrn awkwardly chuckle. Gran has a serious, albeit deadpan expression.

"You want me to what now?"

"Just say something random three times right at this spot."

"I don't mind, but this… is oddly specific."

"I know. Trust me."

"If you say so… any reasons it has to be me, specifically?"

"No idea. Katalina, anytime you're ready."

"Oh! Right, right." Katalina coughs a little to clear her throat. "Uhh…"

Katalina looks around and panics. She just says whatever comes to mind whenever she sees something. These end up being Vyrn, Lyria, and her sword.

"Haha, Vyrn is always adorable.

So you've decided to protect Lyria. You have my gratitude.

Isn't it a beautiful sword? Its name is Rukalsa. Do you have an interest in swords too?"

The parchment in Lyria's hand glows, and a little "CLEARED!" icon appears on the upper right side of the parchment.

Vyrn is so shocked that his tone goes into Lowain Bros™ Territory for a moment. "Gran, ya did it, ya absolute madlad."

Katalina is left speechless as she takes a step back to process all of… this.

"How many of these do we have left?" Vyrn proceeds to ask.

"There seems to be 5 more," Lyria answers.

Gran and Vyrn proceed to let out a collective "Damn." 

* * *

 

"Next one…"

On the second parchment they opened up, a line, "Let arrows be your guide," and an assortment of words, numbers, and symbols that resemble a treasure hunt appear.

Naturally, since this was a treasure hunt.

"This might be easy after all! We'll be fine! I'll make my town proud!" Gran enthusiastically proposed, while seeming like he was trying his goddamn best to raise as many death flags as possible.

All of that happened 3 hours ago. They were, evidently, not fine. 

Lyria got tired and decided to rest for a bit in her room, leaving the two to try to solve the problem.

Vyrn started getting frustrated with looking for non-existent arrows and started having a mental breakdown akin to Another Vyrn ("If ya ask me, we should just travel back in time. I reckon we'd get answers from strangling him a bit. I volunteer to do it. Old wizard's probably weaksauce, lol."), and thus was ordered to rest.

Gran is currently lying face down on the floor crying. "What GODDAMN arrows? Is it the music icon? IS IT!?" He yells. None of the other crew members are around- they're off doing their own things around the ship.

This is happening in present time.

Gran gets up when the door to Lyria's room opens, and Vyrn tilts his head towards Lyria a little.

Lyria runs out of the room, yelling, "Is this it? I think I-" before she is stopped by Gran. She has dark circles under her eyes, her hair is messy, and she, overall, looks like the last time she had 24 shots of caffeine and had no sleep. Gran considers asking Sandalphon what went in Lyria's food this time but then decides against it. Probably isn't his fault- this time anyway.

It's scary what a puzzle can do to your sanity, Gran thinks, while he watches Lyria go on another far fetched conclusion about how 5 to the power of 9 must be the code to everything.

"L-Lyria, let's take a break, shall we?"

"I've had enough of breaks. We're going to fall behind if we don't put our best effort in." It was unusual to see Lyria this assertive, and you could tell purely by how taken aback Gran and Vyrn was.

Nevertheless, he still has to put in some effort to preserve the sanity of Lyria, poor girl…

"There's no point trying to look for arrows that aren't there, Lyria," Gran pipes up.

"But then what kind of arrows should we follow, Gr-

Arrows that aren't there. Arrows that… aren't there…"

Lyria grabs Vyrn and hugs him like a purse, and clambers over to the table and scrutinizes the paper for exactly fifteen seconds.

"I ain't no purse, lemme go!" Vyrn pipes up.

Lyria suddenly yells, "BET TEN TIMES THIRTY FOUR GRAN WE HAVE TO GO TO THE CASINO NOW NOW GO GO GO-"

* * *

 

Everything that happens next is a blur, but Gran vaguely remembers Lyria breaking something, Vyrn beating somebody up, and the three of them doing something to Rackam.

The important thing is that they've arrived at the casino, and Lyria pulls Gran to the Slots. Or at least, tries to, before a buff Draph security officer stops them.

"May I have identification?"

Usually, they would've shied away and asked for someone older to bring them in.

Today was not the day. They had 10,000 crystals to win and anyone who tried to stop them could either let go of them or let go of life, and the aura around them made it clear. Today, they were not skyfarers, but pirates.

Lyria and Vyrn are giving off menacing auras that seem to be the work of a primal beast- nay, various primal beasts.

Gran slowly inches into the guard's face as he says, "Look, son, we've got more money to make than at your pittance of a casino, and we're just here for business, so we could do this the easy way where you let us in for five minutes, which isn't that long, really! Or we could beat you up with multiple legendary weapons and variously assorted treats of primal summons, feed you your own ass twice, then come back with Therese and show you that we could go in the first-time round. Just let us in, man."

That lengthy monologue served its purpose as the security guard shuffled to the side in pure horror.

The team wholeheartedly smiles and says "Thank you!" as they usually do, while being completely unaware of how spine-chilling the speech Gran had just given was. Rumors about the singularity, the girl in blue and the red dragon being utterly horrifying would make its way around as quickly as it would die out.

They wouldn't know this, however, as they went to spin the slots betting just 10 chips thirty-four times. The paper glowed again, and the puzzle was cleared. 

* * *

 

As they returned to the Grancypher, they profusely apologized to the other crew members, and rested for another three hours, utterly exhausted and broken mentally, before going back to Sierokarte to collect the second set of two parchments.

It would have been an understatement to claim that they were absolutely not prepared for what came next.

**Author's Note:**

> next is set #2 and you can bet theyre going to suffer lmao


End file.
